Where will it be tomorrow?
- Mood:
gloomy
Is it?
I'm sitting here watching snow fall, the thought of flip flops pushed back---wayyyy back--in my mind. Snow? again? and in March? It's disgusting.
It's been a strange time lately.
I think i broke a bone in my foot, possibly a toe. In any case it hurts, i'm limping and seeing the doctor on wednesday. Stupid home accident, a combo of carrying table legs, opening patio door and trying to keep the orange Emmie McFucker cat inside.
The DishDish cat had a canine removed. Funny to say. She is well and back to licking everyone. Yay!
Trying to decide where to go on vacation. It's been difficult: between cost and time frame and travel advisory. Almost bought a tix for Bali, but it turns out it won't work out. Where to go? I dunno!
Beautiful Vancouver's dirty little secret seems to be out, even my friend Kier in Australia has heard of the current gangs war.
Oh it's nutty. Yet another shooting overnight. 32 shootings across Metro Vancouver since late January - 12 of them deadly. Sumtin about the UN gang, allies of the Hell's Angels fighting with the Red Scorpions and their allies. It's messy.
Luckily it's not in my neighborhood yet.
All the product of what's been happening in Mexico. Less supply, too much competition.
Legalize i say...
And, as usual, calls from Wally. Apparently he is or was over the weekend, here in Vancouver.
The funny part is that it snowed, the not funny part is that he's here, and of course wants to see me.
I still can't find a logical explanation why he won't go away and don't intend to reply to his invite anymore than i've replied to anything he's sent in the past 4 years.
One thing is sure, i'm not venturing outside today with a broken sumtin in my foot, the snow and the stray bullets flying.
Home is where the McFucker sheds.
- Mood:
sore
First The Sneak had a bladder infection of unknown origins--no crystal, no bacteria--and was treated with weekly shark cartilage injections. I also suspect her to be riding a hyperthyroid fine line. I removed her beloved dry food from her diet.
Then the DishDish...went in for blood and urine tests before her dental this thursday--she broke a canine tooth and probably has an absess and is getting it removed--and had crystals and is for sure riding the hyperthyroidism fine line--will recheck in june. Also addressed were her weepy eyes with drops and Lysine, suspected is the herpes virus.
I can't believe the chronic is happening so soon. Dish is only 9, Sneak is 8.
I watch these cats like a crazy mama, buy human grade cat food, give them raw. Too much of a coincidence that 2 out of 3 are going that road.
I've changed their food once again, to Wellness this time, coz it has cranberries, no fish and no grain and i add extra water in their plate.
Will keep Dish on Lysine as she is doing much better.
I like our vet. He always does the 'you don't mind if we do this right here, do you?' as he plunges a long needle in the cat's bladder.
'Nope' i sayz, i'm interested'.
Damn tho. I hope different food keeps the beasts away. I can't really imagine that 'stress' makes it into my cats' lives...
- Mood:
contemplative
Sold the snow shovel, gave away the wintery clothes, that kinda thing.
I may have to rethink this plan: so far, 3 snow storms in the past 2 weeks. Turns the city into disaster. Tried to get a cab to take The Sneak to her vet apt last monday, no luck, i had to walk there and the sidewalks weren't shovelled...coz why would anyone here own a shovel... She didn't look impressed The Sneaky cat.
I'm in Seattle right now wondering how easy, or not, it will be to get home. The Vancouver Airport is still experiencing some delays....guess i'll have to strategize a drive home in between snow falls.
...and well, yeah, of course Wally called. This time to tell me that 'he misses me like heck' (WTF? like heck??!!), to wish me a merry x mas and to tell me that he loves me. I'll stop here before i get completely nauseous. Other than that, it's been a pretty interesting time considering that Gemini is in full moon---which brings all kinda disasters. I shake a fist at the sky and laugh!
- Mood:
amused
After over 2 years of renos, the top floor penthouse of my building is for sale. It's the entire floor, 5000 sqt, newly, exquisitely and completely furnished.
Mister very rich party dude took the 2 suites, gutted them and made the place into one big party palace.....and has never lived here...and now he can't...coz he's no longer welcome in Canada because of pressures from the u.s. government.
This is the best part. Mister very rich dude's party palace has 6 and a half baths, a 1200 bottles wine rack, 2 bedrooms, a 3 car garage and... a FREAKIN PANIC ROOM...LOL (i imagine it has a red phone and enough Itchiban noodles for months!)
Yours for a mere $12,000,000. Panic optional.
- Mood: amused
Today i'm feeling like doing nothing more than going back to bed and watching tv. Have we found little Caylee yet i wonder, or can we squeeze 2-3 more months out of that story?
Had a call last week from one of the store's GeekSquad supervisors. Over all, it was nice lip service which eventually made me laugh. "When you bring your laptop in again or visit BestBuy for your holiday shopping, bla bla bla"-- 'Oh yes, oh yes oh yes, that's so likely to ever happen, dude!, now i'd like speak to a District Manager"
Re entering 9 months of business receipts nearly drove me insane, but now it's done. As i lost all my contacts infos, there shall be no x mas cards this year.
Good news tho, it's Beaujolais Nouveau season! Had great plans to sample and be merry this weekend, but the plan turned weird so i ended up having a friend over for dinner instead. Made my killer Choucroute, i think he liked it.
Yup, back to bed it is...
- Mood:
lazy
crap i sayz, crap.
Today`s crap; picked up the other laptop from the repair place (GEEK SQUAD at BEST BUY) to find out that while i had paid for an advanced diagnosis to find out why it was so slow--i originally went into the store to buy more ram but was upsold the diagnostic--they in fact took it upon themselves to reinstall Windows, WIPING 2 YEARS' WORTH OF WORK COMPLETELY CLEAN.
I therefore will now highly recommend the GEEK SQUAD AT BEST BUY to anyone who annoys me, and tell people i care about to AVOID THE PLACE AT ALL COST. I declared war on such practices, can't wait for head office to call me back.
And now i can't 'unbold', damn button doesn't work.
I feel wiped by the wiping...yet have a long restore night ahead of me. Time to test the Norton360 Backup. If it fails, war.
If only i had know of their intentions...tragedy didn't have to happen, i would have backed up 1- on my portable drive 2- on another laptop 3- twice, 3, 4 ,5 times on Norton (i'm a one woman small business you assholes, your sales numbers tactic is risking to wipe me out, 'huh sorry' isn't even starting to cut it, you unprofessional morons)
And....The diagnostic shows there was nothing wrong with my laptop, i just needed more ram. Now i guess i don't need extra ram, there's nothing on the laptop.
All is fucking well otherwise.
- Location:Hell
- Mood:
angry - Music:The Steam coming out of my ears
Weird feeling of really realizing how time has passed. Weird feeling of wondering why/how, after all the years and all the history, we`re sorta working on becoming friendly. He used to be one who couldn`t commit. To me, or to much. One day maybe i`ll have the chance to get the closure on that i`ve, at times, been lacking. I`m intensely loyal, sometimes to my detriment.
I called Greg yesterday, to my surprise he called back and sounded happy to talk to me. Maybe this bronchitis hell is playing with my head to the point where i don`t know what`s what. Maybe. Or maybe i just never knew to begin with.
The weird client had 2 hissy fits at me yesterday, one about getting french junk mail, one about her site being live..which was scheduled for september 22...and i`m still waiting for her to edit the edits of her edits. One the day before when i migrated one of her sites to it`s new homes--she`d been running 2 different websites out of the same ip for 4 years, doesn`t seem grateful for my cleaning up the mess--.and she couldn`t see the site coz she was trying to access it using her bookmark. Several before that over things that make no sense.
Altho she can view her site online and always could--one copy on my development server, old files through top nav, new files through bottom nav, she insisted on me doing print screens of each page and emailing them to her. I did. She then wanted all the print screens on ONE file instead of several, i drew a line right through her craziness. She emailed later that she couldn`t edit the one file because it was missing. Of course i had sent it. This isn`t new material, it`s been online for 4 years, with her links blinking and the design and coding so horrifying that google has not indexed it yet.
Hopefully, by the end of the week, she`s out of my hair. I`m totally happy with the work i did for her, even tho she tried to sabotage it several times, i didn`t let her...and her index page description ranks 99% on seo score. I`m just waiting till she complains that it isn`t 100%, and why her website doesn`t rank 10/10. I`ll be happy if all 17 pages make it out of the grey box for the first time in 4 years. I need to manage her unrealistic expectations. I need a degree in psychology to deal with her. She`s rattled my usual patience. I need to not be available to her outside of 9 to 5. I need to teach her how to treat me.
- Mood:
awake
Again, last week, the same.
A., who i last saw on a cold morning many many years ago while he crossed the street to avoid talking to me, resurfaced on Facebook , found me, and we have been having a carefully worded exchange thus far.
Over the years, friends would, now and then, tell me news about him...or avoid telling me news about him.
Our story was a bit insane. Love tends to be this way. A. and i lived together in our early to mid 20`s. I moved out because he wasn`t happy with me anymore...and that was devastating to me then. However, we did have a lot of fun together and for a time, i was very happy.
How do i feel about being in touch with him now??--Glad, coz i wondered about him sometimes. Careful, coz i feel i need to be, specially when he calls me "precious". But hey--it`s his middle life crisis in action, not mine. I have my own problems!
Slowly recovering from bronchitis, still coughing but the fever part seems to be over.
Have yet to deal with Greg...in a mature way. Just for my sake. And i dunno where to start. Maybe i"ll just show up at his place one night.
I`ve recognized that i`m angry and hurt from before bronchitis, and angry and hurt now because even knowing i was sick, he was no where around. To be fair, he did email me to see if there was anything i needed...i just expected not having to tell him in details, that he would know what to do ( like if i was any other human being in his life who is very ill, feverish and not all there) , so i said nothing and he did nothing.
I still have to make it to the hospital for x rays. Have to. This week dammit.
- Mood: tired
At 88 years old, they went for Dim-Sum for the first time!--and celebrated their 61st wedding anniversary in style here with me.
My mom gave me a ring she bought before she married my dad. I absolutely love it! Very Art Deco.
More good news is that i dont have pneumonia, just bronchitis!
Antibiotics for 10 days, a pneumonia shot and i have to go to the hospital for x rays.
Good news still, my PIA client is away till thursday.
She`s just wasting my time at this point, not giving me what i need to finish yet trying to change what i`ve so carefully crafted for no good reasons.
If this continues, i`ll have to stop wanting her success, shut my mouth, and make the changes she wants then watch her sink.....then charge her more when she needs rescuing. I see no other sane alternatives.
S. and i have been friends for about 20 years, since college. While taking a walk on the beach the other afternoon, he told me he has been HIV+ for a few years.
It made me sad and angry...but he`s doing very well, not on the cocktail yet and dealing with it well enough to be able to talk to me about it.
Things with Greg are still where they were. We haven`t talked, haven`t seen each other. Traded a few emails and voice mails.
Honestly, i dunno what will happen, but i`m not jumping to try to reach him.
If he calls, ok, if he doesn`t, i`ll go get my things at his place.
While almost everyone else who matters in my life calls to wish me to get better soon, he doesn`t even know i`m sick....because we haven`t talked. My lover is no longer my friend.
Wally the ex is in fine form tho and lately, has taken to forward me emails from one of his client about the Latino film festival in L.A.
He`s still whacked. So much for me liking consistency in people.
...and it`s a gorgeous sunny fall day in beautiful Vancouver!
- Mood:
sick
- Mood: sick
My time away this weekend only temporarly improved my frame of mind.
It`s painful, and i`m hurting.
I feel i lack the strenght, understanding and direction to find it within me to get over what happened in Portland.
I guess it comes down to platitudes such as:
-reality and expectations are 2 different things.
-you date people so you can get to know them.
What happened to the man i feel in love with 32 months ago? Is he really the stranger i woke up beside 2 weeks ago?
I`m tired of being alone, tired of watching CSI reruns in bed by myself for the past 2 weeks, tired of fits of tears over it, yet i don`t even know if i feel safe enough, or if i have enough energy left to try to explain to him how his actions made me feel and why.
I`m afraid if i do, i`ll end up hurt further from either misunderstandings or silence.
I`m afraid it will come down to having to make the decision between him or me.
Back to CSI...tomorrow i have clients to deal with who must not suspect how distressed i really feel.
- Mood:
depressed
Why? coz i can, coz i need to get away.
Why there? no idea, coz.
- Mood: drained
Why is it worthy of any mention?
Well---after rocking 11 html pages over the past 2 days( i swear i sat here for 2 12 hrs straight with only my eyes and hands moving)
today i`m taking a day off and my plans involve a lot of outside.
Going to the spa, i am.
Going to hunt for the daytime moisturizer i like, which i`m out of as well, it seems, every store i`ve tried who usually sells it.
Going to see 'The Walkmen" live tonight. I love that band.
Sheets and sheets of rain. Falling.
Me, still a downtowner refusing to buy a car.
Going to Anacortes this long weekend. May it be sunny there.
- Mood: hopeful
grumpy continues.
a week ago my life was different.
Yet, anyways.
Who knows how many brain cells i may lose in the next 5 years, we`ll see how much sense i`ll make then.
Her request for "apostrophes smiling to the left side" has left me...wondering if she drinks while the kids are at school.
I`ll rant on.
1- She pays me to do SEO, not web design.
2- WHAT????
3- I`m not changing her font, ( see #1) so the apostrophes haven`t changed
4- WHO CARES about apostrophes?
5- How possible is it to use a keyboard with them smiling to the right side?
6- That was one weird comment, lady.
This is just one example of the general weirdness she is giving me.
She, who has spent 4 years with the majority of her website`s pages titled " Welcome to Abobe 5", is suddenly on the apostrophes band wagon.
Priceless.
By the way, i`d like to thank all the web designers out there who are making their client`s websites impossible to find, and/or making them be ignored by Google.
You guys rocks!
Because of all of you out there, every year, i have enough extra cash to travel to pretty fabulous places after your clients find me because their online dream isn`t happening, because they thought "if you build it, they will come" and haven`t been informed otherwise because you have not kept up your skills or have little skills to begin with and call yourselves a web designer.
Can`t blame the client (see being an expert in their own field later bit)
Oh i`m used to clients who don`t understand the details of what i do, and frankly, they shouldn`t.
They should be experts in their own fields, not in mine.
This one tho, is way way way off in the left field.
On a less grumpy note, my balcony tomato plant finally has little wee green ones. 8 of them. The plant itself is gigantic for a balcony project.
This is the only un-grumpy news i have in me for today.
Off to install Firefox on the Mac now, might hiss at the cats on the way there....
- Mood: grumpy
Wow, what a 4 days discovery i just had: Portland. Friendly people, no sales tax, microbrews and smoking still permitted in bars. Wow. What an old school progressive city!
My first time there, hopefully not the last.
Even tho the weather got up to 103 and i became so dehydrated my eyeballs seemed to be stuck to my eyelids, it was a good time.
Stayed at the Juniper Hotel where the rooms doors were painted in blackboard paint, where they give you plenty of chalk to express whatever, where there`s an old school photo booth and a tattoo shop and where the room`s coffee maker has been replaced by a deal with speakers to plug your Ipod in. No bibles in the rooms, but a copy of "The Four Agreements".
While i never saw the people in the room next door, what they wrote on their door told me plenty. They wrote "#608, neighbour of the beast".
It inspired me to chalk my own door with "#613,614,615 and 616, sister-wives of the beast".
Most of the plans made for this trip got replaced by random other events, which happened to be perfectly there at the right time, and i`m so one to roll with it.
Ah--Portland, yes! Laughed so hard and so many times. Felt like a freak belonging amongst others there. Had really deep and enlightening conversations, learned good and aweful things about my travel accomplice. Got filled and depleted in the process.
Back home. Hiding in self protection. The rain. The torrent of emails waiting. The new client. The 8 hrs operation of my sister`s boyfriend which went well as 2 surgeons took out his spleen. The booking of plane tickets and hotel room for my 88 y/o parents who are coming to visit in september. The silence of my travel accomplice fuels my own questions about wanting and/or being able to travel any further in life at his side. My deep sadness about the possibilities of our trip ending. The half hearted planning of a party for collegues. The laundry. The cat hair.
I think i need to shower and go outside for a few hours. Yeah, i do.
- Mood:
confused
I went from being happily busy to being excrutiatingly busy in a few short months. That`s where i`ve been, in busyland.
After countless months of rain, it`s been a fabulously sunny summer which makes Vancouver the happiest place on earth--after Disneyland, of course.
Procrastinating right now, i am. I should be out ordering a cake for the staff bbq party i`m hosting on saturday for 20 people and booking a manicure and sorting my recycling in the appropriate bins before meeting my friend Steven at 1 pm, picking up business cards for the dog show i`m a sponsor of at 4 pm, then heading over to the other side of the bridge to conduct a small production line of hole punching 800 cards... but noooo, i`m sitting here drinking coffee, dripping into a towel enjoying the verveine smell of my own damp skin.
My body is tired from weeks of running around. It hasnt been all work and no play, oh no. There`s been plenty`o`play!
And plenty more is coming up as well.
On the agenda for the rest of the month:
-staff bbq party
-road trip to Portland with Greg--can`t wait as i`ve not been there ever yet.
-taking a 4 hr geek class from higher geeks which is taking place in a pub.
-getting ready for the above mentionned dog show with 800 promo pieces.
-go for a facial.
-code like mad to try to catch up who knows even, maybe get ahead.
Then it will be september i suspect.
Month where my parents are supposedly coming to visit for the first time since i`ve lived here in Vancouver--6 years.
They ned come and visit while i lived closer to them for my 5 years in Toronto.
That`s how close we are, i guess. Oh well, c`est la vie!
Ok, cake/recycling/apointment/Steven/busines
- Mood:
crazy
"Several of my stepsons were assigned to marry my sisters, so i also became a sister-in-law to my own stepchildren.
After my mother`s father was assigned to marry one of my second husband`s daughters as a second wife, i became my own great-grandmother.
This stepdaughter became my step-grandmother and i her step-mother, so when i gave birth to two sons with her father, my own sons became my great-uncles and i was their great-great-grand-mother."
From "Keep Sweet - Children of Polygamy" by Debbie Palmer.
- Mood: confused
It`s my b day eve technically because i havent been to bed yet.
Had much french food tonight and now i smell of wine and butter.
I appreciate getting older for the 'whocares" freedom it brings me.
On the other hand, getting older sucks coz i`m inching towards needing bifocals, getting my hair colored coz of grey instead of coz i can have my hair this pretty color.
Overall tho, it`s good!
Tomorrow is surprises day. I only know to be ready at 11:30 am.
I found a spanish class i`ll probably take. 2 hrs, twice a week for a month. This could be the first of many, as i really want to learn a 3rd language and mandarin is simply out of my range.
Bought "Keep Sweet" online. It should be here this week. This will be my 3rd book in a row on FLDS. It`s fascinating like a train wreck.
The ex found me on Facebook and sent me a "friends" request at 2:38 am last night.
We are not going to be friends anywhere, on any platforms, virtual or otherwise, so he became the first person i`ve ever blocked.
It feels a bit like a tennis match with him this week. His move now, i guess.
I`m determined to not let him spoil my bday fun by triggering any bad memories.
Note to self: stay away from tequila.
- Mood: tired
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